The Secret of a Long Life: Worry Less

by Dan Heffernan

September 16th, 2013

Our health, well-being and professional success depend upon social networks.  Of course, I’m referring to the importance of our connections between friends, family and others in a community, not social media.  But check out the striking similarity between Jeffrey’s practical advice for using social media for success in business and sales in his book Social Boom!, Dale Carnegie’s classic principles for eliminating stress and worry, and medical advice from the Mayo Clinic about nurturing social networks to reduce stress and lead a long life!

This helpful tips below were originally published on the Mayo Clinic’s site under stress management, and I’ve provided complimentary perspectives from Jeffrey Gitomer and Dale Carnegie.

Give and take: The foundation of social networks

A successful relationship is a two-way street. The better a friend you are, the better your friends will be. Here are some suggestions for nurturing your relationships:

  • Stay in touch. Answering phone calls, returning emails and reciprocating invitations let people know you care.
    Jeffrey:  I believe that staying personally involved keeps my message true to my philosophy, and helps me learn. 
  • Don’t compete. Be happy instead of jealous when your friends succeed, and they’ll celebrate your accomplishments in return.
    Dale Carnegie:  Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health and hope.  Never try to get even with your enemies.
    Jeffrey:  Praise a company that’s doing things differently and getting it right.  Maybe even praise your competitor.
  • Be a good listener. Find out what’s important to your friends — you might find you have even more in common than you think.
    Dale Carnegie:  Become genuinely interested in other people.  Be a good listener; encourage others to talk about themselves.
    Jeffrey (about what to write online):  Put yourself in the shoes, and in the chair, and in the mind of you connections. 
  • Don’t overdo it. In your zeal to extend your social network, be careful not to overwhelm friends and family with phone calls and emails. Save those high-demand times for when you really need them. And while sharing is important, be wary of “oversharing” information that’s personal or sensitive, especially with new or casual acquaintances and on social networking sites.
    Jeffrey:  When your followers and your connections realize that you offer genuine help, and that your messages have real-world value, they will begin to buy from you because they believe the rest of what you offer also has value.
  • Appreciate your friends and family. Take time to say thank you and express how important they are to you. Be there for them when they need support.
    Dale Carnegie: Give honest, sincere appreciation (Principle #2); Become genuinely interested in other people (Principle #4).

Dale Carnegie taught that when we take an active interest in others, we become the catalysts for their success – and thereby become persons of influence in the lives of those around us. In building strong relationships that we can count on, we begin to worry less, and find organizational challenges will be achieved more quickly.  How would you assess the health of your own social network today?

Do something about the destructive forces of stress in the workplace. Learn to assess your current reactions to stress so that you can stop worrying and start working up to your full potential.

Managing Workplace Stress ($299 Live Online Workshop).  Register for an upcoming session.  Use Promotion Code DCDBLOG to receive a 10% discount.

Dan Heffernan is the General Manager of Dale Carnegie Digital.

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